Assalamualaikum!
Lama sungguh xupdate di sini. Kalau sedih2, stress2, barulah aku jengah blog ni haa. Teruk perangaii. Haha.
Sangat banyak benda dah jadi semenjak last aku update blog ni. Banyak benda yg dah berubah, and aku sendiri pun dah banyak berubah, in a way to someone better tp in a way kind of astray.. Entahlaa.. Konflik diri betul. Haha.
As for my family life, since mama decide nak keluar dari umah, untuk bebas drpd papa, since tu lah adik2 dah lain.. Dorg memberontak kat dalam tu, and as a sister, aku rasa aku kakak yg paling xguna skali sebab xboleh elak semua bnda tu drpd jadi.. And now, papa pun dah balik stay kat kampung dia n kinda jarang sgt3 contact.. Aku tau, dia myb ada rasa kecik ati dengan aku..aku jrg contact dia n whatsoever.. It's just that, aku bengang.. Sume ni jadi berpunca drpd dia, and he is expecting me to carry the consequences to fix things up.. I'm not that strong, i'm just a weak person who need people to support me..be there with me. What am i now? Medium of communication from mama, hafiz n adik to papa and vice versa.. I really3 wished that things could go back to how it used to be..when i was 6 or 7..those simple, moderate yet happy family.. Memg semua tu sgt3 xmungkin akan jadi..mama memg dah tawar hati sgt3..aku xlalui apa yg dia rasa. But then for the sake of hafiz n adik? Xboleh ke? I just don't know how to solve things between them.. Yg aku dapat, kne tampar dr papa, kne maki2 dengan mama. Slrg aku pulak slalu dok carut2, cubit2 org. Sabit eh?haha.
Pasal dia tu pulakkkk, mata air katanyaa. Hahah. Honestly, aku xnk terlalu berharap. If ada, then ada. If not, then just let it be.. Dah dekat 2 tahun lebih, i still haven't met this person. Huh~ gerammm. Tp bukan boleh buat apa pun. Tu lahh, gateiii. Desperate nauuu. Haha. Hmm. Memg lahh, dia plan mcm2. Dah kawen mcm tu lah, mcm ni lahh..but boy, why are u not ready to see me yet? Mintak mcm2 pandai pulakkk. Pksa2 bagai. Yes, dlu memg..dia boleh pksa2, rayu2 bagai.. Tp aku dah pernah cakap dulu, aku xsuka dipaksa, xkira la, roughly or sweetly, if i said i hate that one particular thing, then don't make do it. Aku pendam, tp bila lama2 pendam, sayang tu dah tukar jd mcm takut n benci.. I trust you and i do hope you are the only one..but if you're just fooling around with me then you're the most wasted person in this earth to fool me. Chewahhhh. Hehe. Heyy, i limited edition tauu. Kononn. Haha.
As for my campus life, Alhamdulillah..still in good grades. Chewahh. Haha. Biasa2 jela. Memain je banyak. Sedihhhhh. Haha. Tp setakat ni, still boleh carry. Masalah2 semua xaffect sgt la stdy. Personal is personal, study is study. I don't mix things up.
And kawan2 dekat tempat belajar ni memg for sure lahh xleh lawan Geng Sengal lagi..haha. They're the best.. But Alhamdulillah, dorg dekat sini pun okay je.. There're things yg memg sbnrnya aku mcm annoyed but then it's just a small things..bnda bodoh2..haha. But it's good to have someone that knows exactly what you're being through. And those people is the one who makes me stronger in life..
Aku skrg ni, mulut memg agak lepas..batas pun, terbabas gak kdg2 if selesa ngan kawan2..haha. Kdg2 if tidur, bila bangun selalu n always rasanya..akan terdetik or terfikir punya laa rileks skrg ni, akhirat nnt mcm mana..kne hisab, dosa, pahala, azab.. Tp memg xdpt n xpernah rasanya tgk bayangan syurga tu.. Teruk nau pangaiii ek? Haha.
Tu jelah buat masa ni..lecturer dok ngajo kat depan, aku dok menaip bnda ni. Haha.
Salam :)
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